Hospital Birth as a First Time Mom

As I walked to our usual pew at church, my stomach tightened. I held my large and growing belly as an energy filled the room that I had never felt before. It was a week early, but I knew this was the start of the end and the beginning of a new journey. Max noticed my slow exhale and asked if I was OK. “Yeah, Everything is fine.” I reassured because who knew how long this was going to go and it was only a light little squeeze. No one could have prepared for the week we were going to have!

Photo by Elizabeth Stanley Photography

Let’s get some backstory before we begin… Max and I had been married for 2 years when we decided to start trying to grow our family. We got pregnant July 2020 and lost our little “blueberry” that October. Then quickly got pregnant again December 2020 with our rainbow baby. We had an adventure of a pregnancy, but that can be a story for another time. Which brings us up to speed August 29, 2021.

After that first tightening of my belly at church, I continued to get what I now know as prodromal labor contractions every 25 minutes. This continued for the next few hours.

By 7pm that night, the prodromal contractions were now 15 minutes apart and getting tighter. Still nothing really, so I went to bed at 9 ready to teach a classroom of 4th graders the next day. Yes… I was planning on teaching with these contractions.

I was able to successfully sleep most of the night. I woke up at 4am with a contraction that was more intense than the others, then just stayed up for the morning. I got ready and left for work. Contractions were now 7 minutes apart and had been since 4am. But, they weren’t intensifying or changin pattern at all. I informed my principal, she questioned why I was there, but a teacher’s maternity leave is precious! I taught the entire day with contractions that were 7 -9 minutes apart. The ranged from 15-35 seconds long. At 5pm, things had intensified. I was now timing them and they were 5 minutes apart lasting 1 minute. Ooooo we were going to have a baby!

Photo by Elizabeth Stanley Photography

Like good little expecting parents, we went to the labor classes ealier and they told us when we were timing contractions 4 minutes apart, lasting a minute for an hour to come to the hospital, the 411 rule. By 8pm we set out for the hospital, a 15 minute drive. After and hour in triage and hearing “we are busy tonight, you’re not far enough along” we were sent home. I was only measuring at 3 centimeters. So discouraged, we returned home.

I couldn’t sleep due to the increasing intensity and frequency of the contractions. So, I stayed up bouncing on a ball. At 2am, contractions started slowing and I actually slept 2-5am when I woke with pretty strong contractions. I decided NOT to go into school that day and started my maternity leave on August 31. Max made us breakfast and I paced our small kitchen. At 8, Max started a class via Zoom and I continued to time contractions and pace. 4 minutes apart lasting 45 seconds for the last 2 hours….but I was NOT ABOUT TO BE TURNED AWAY AGAIN! So…. I told Max we are waiting until the LAST second to go to the hospital.

Max’s class ended at 10:00am and he came out to the kitchen where I was attempting to be quiet while moaning through contractions and slowly squatting with support from our table. With one glance, Max said, “I think we should go to the hospital now.”

”NO! I am fine, let’s just get through your next class. When does it end?” I asked …..”Noon” ….. ”Oh, yeah I got this! We will stay.”

He went back to the computer and started class. I kept timing, thankful he didn’t ask about the time. We were now sitting at 2.5 minutes apart 1 minute long for the last hour.

30 minutes later….. consistently 1.75 minutes apart lasting 50 seconds. I waddled into Max….. “I think we need to leave.” Max didn’t sign off, or say good bye. He threw the bags in the car, helped me out the door and we were off. I will spare you the drive and check in portion..

Once in triage, I was checked again hoping that we would not be sent home this time. NOPE! I was 6 cm, fully effaced and baby was at station +1. We were staying! HALELUJAH! We were admitted at 12:45. I explained to our wonderful nurse Emily that I wanted to go as long as possible without an epidural but I wasn’t opposed to one. She was 100% on board and never asked if I wanted one until I asked for one myself at 4pm.

I knew going into birth that I was not opposed to an epidural, but wanted be as in control as possible. Before the epidural, I was walking the room, swaying, and hunching over with each contraction. I breathed through them and told myself “You got this! A baby is on the way!” Around 2pm, Nurse Emily came to check in. I was hanging on Max with my hands clasped around his neck squat swaying. Emily said “If you want an epidural, slow down the dancing otherwise baby would come too soon.” I was nervous to go unmedicated so decided to just pace again. By 4, I asked for the epidural.

If I am being honest, I had no idea what medication was in my epidural… but it was great! The anesthesiologist handed me the bolster, a button to release more doses if needed, and proceeded on his way.

Like I said, I wanted to be in control but I also wanted to take the edge off a little. So, I never hit the bolster on my own after the epidural was placed. This was perfect for me. I could still feel the tightening of the contractions but not the pain. This is allowed me to get a “nap” and rest for a few hours.

At 6:50 I asked if they could check me as my contractions were getting more intense even with the epidural. I was measuring at a 7 with a bulging sack of waters. Nurse Emily explained that shift change was coming at 7:00 and unfortunately she would not meet my baby, but wished us luck. This is where things started getting interesting.

Our new nurse came in at 7:05 introduced herself and expressed that my labor was not moving as fast as she hoped. She explained that she would be starting Pitocin to get my body ready for delivery. Being my first birth and fully trusting the hospital I said. Okay. My midwife came in shortly afterwards and broke the sack, then explained that it would be about 2 hours before we see baby.

NOT THE CASE! Promptly at 7:15 I felt a major need to use the bathroom. I knew it was baby coming. Max called for a nurse to check. Sure enough, our little one was ready to come. I had gone from a 7 to a 10 in 10 minutes…..but the midwife had left. I was told to wait and not push. This was the MOST DIFFICULT part of the entire process.

The act of pushing surprised me as it was so instinctual and primal. Being told to not just not push but to hold baby in, was next to impossible. But…. I did it! Like I was holding in the biggest poo of my life I held back this very eager baby from entering this world. For a whole 15 minutes!

At 7:30, the midwife FINALLY arrived and tried to move me to my back to deliver. I preferred to labor and deliver on my side. This was respected for the most part and I was permitted to do so. Using the hypnobirthing practices I had learned and practiced, I breathed my baby out through one push….. and another…… and another…… On the 4th push, I was abruptly flipped to my back by the nurse and midwife. I breathed and moaned like a whale as I pushed. Baby was crowning. “On this next push hold your breath, grab your knees and give it all you got.” This was everything against what I learned….. but again I did it.

The head was out. One last calm breathing push and our baby boy had been born at 7:50pm. He cried, we cried. They placed him on my chest with the exclimation of “You birthed a toddler!” Yes… He was a BIG boy! However, I was far from being done with delivery.

As our not so little guy rested on my chest, I started to notice to spots on the top of his head starting to form a Megamind like head. Hematomas sustained during delivery they explained. They will diminish with time and they did. But I was also losing blood and losing it fast. During the last few pushes I managed to sustain an 3rd, almost 4th, degree tear. The midwife did not stitch me up but rather waited for the OB to arrive and do so. For 5 minutes we waited, and I bled. Poor Max is worrying. I looked at him with eyes that said “everything is fine.”

Jaxon Xavier Slade

9 lbs 15 oz 21.5 inches long

By 8:45 I was fully stitched up and working on getting our little guy to latch. About and hour later, the Dr came in, explained that I lost a liter of blood during delivery and a large tear. I would need to rest before transferring and take Iron pills for the next few months.

At 11:45 our nurse came in wanting to transfer us to recovery. I sat up as she got a wheel chair and passed out. She came in at 1:30 to try again and I got too light headed. By 2:30am I was successfully transferred to recovery where we stayed the next 2 days.

Though our story is long and honestly not exactly how I would have like it. It gave us our Jaxon. It taught me that the hospitals don’t know everything. Mother’s can and should advocate for themselves. Nurses can make ALL the difference and Epidurals CAN give a woman the exact control she wants.