Hospital Birth with Second Time Mom: Trust your gut!

I walked into my 41 week appointment knowing the provider would want to discuss induction. I knew however, that I had until 42 weeks until is was required, by hospital and clinic policy and I knew I DID NOT want one!

The nurse called me back, sat me down to take my blood pressure and handed me a paper with an induction scheduled for that night at 3am…. “Take this to your appointment, Dr (xxxx) will want to discuss scheduling with you.” Now I was completely thrown off. Were we not going to talk about it? Was it already scheduled and in the works? Do I get a choice?

I sat in my exam room with questions and concerns circling my mind. The biggest one being “I should have switched providers at 28 weeks!” To back track, there were a few red flags that I tried to rationalize. We had recently moved to the state when we got pregnant, he, the OB, was highly recommended by a friend, and halfway through the pregnancy we bought a house and moved again. I told myself I didn’t need anymore change or stress and said everything was fine

So here I am waiting for the Doctor wondering if I had a choice. He walks in, measures my belly, says everything looks in order and I ask to get my membranes swept hoping to start labor without a hospital induction. He performed the membrane sweep and I sit up with tears in my eyes. Ooo that was uncomfortable.

The OB then says , “Call the hospital at 1am tonight to see if they will have room for my induction at 3am. If they don’t, they will call you within 72 hrs . Once they call, be at the hospital an hour later and we will get baby out.”

Stunned I look at him and ask hesitantly, “I am being induced tonight?”

“Yes, if everything goes to plan. You are good to go once you are dressed.” He gathers my file and walks out the door.

My mind is racing. This is not what I wanted. Max was at work. We have one car, I need to pick him up. Thankfully my mom is in town, she can watch Jax, our toddler. Rather than get too overwhelmed, I drove to Kneaders and got a cinnamon roll. Who was I kidding I was already overwhelmed and emotional.. I was just stress eating.

As I sat in the parking lot eating my emotions, I get a call from the hospital. “Hi, I am calling to let you know you have a balance of $xxxx that needs to be paid prior to your appointment tomorrow.” Not even 5 minutes after my appointment and the hospital was trying to collect the medical bill for a baby that hasn’t been born yet!

“I’m sorry… you need that now? All of it?” I questioned.

“Yes”

“Um…… we don’t have that. Do you accept payement plans?”

“Yes, but the first payment must be half the total.”

None of this was making any sense!

This was not how things worked when we had Jax, our first! He came a week early! We got billed 3 months after his arrival, and everything went smoothly. But, I gave the woman on the phone my card number and set up the payment plan.

I hung up, forgot all about the cinnamon roll and just broke down in tears feeling helpless and alone. But, it was noon and apparently everyone needed baby out by 3am so I had to get to work. I texted Max still fully crying “Appointment is over. We are scheduled for an induction at 3am. Can you get off work?” It was his lunch so I knew he could respond quickly. My phone rang. “Are you ok?”

I will spare you the play by play of a tearful phone call. But in short, Max said he could try to get off a little early but probably not now. He reassured me everything would be ok and I started my journey home.

I hoped on the highway and the tears began to flow again. This was NOT WHAT I WANTED. I NEEDED MAX!

I whipped my phone out and voice texted Max. “Please. I need you.” He called again to explain that he reworked all his patients to his coworkers and I should come pick him up now.

By 1pm, Max was driving us both home and I was sobbing in the passenger seat. I calmed myself before we got home and proceeded the rest of the day as normal. Well somewhat… we went out for a family walk and I did some curb walking. I did the Miles Circuit… again. Did squats and lunges while taking a long shower. By Jaxon’s bedtime… I was exhausted.

There were no signs that baby girl was even remotely ready to come so I decided to go to bed early as we needed to be up at 1am to call the hospital. I discouragingly tucked myself into bed at 9pm. But, I was quickly awoken 2 hrs later with VERY strong contractions. HALELUJAH!!! Baby girl was wanting to come on her own!!

I chose not to wake Max and let him sleep then moved myselfto the yoga ball and bounced while watching some Netflix. I must have slept through most of the calmer contractions because these ones came quick and intense. By 11:45 I started timing them. They were averaging 45 seconds in duration and 6 minutes apart. At 12:30 I went into the shower to try some hydrotherapy for relief. At 1:00 I called the hospital to inform them the induction would not be necessary but to expect us at some point in the early morning. At this point, I woke Max up and informed him he should shower if he wanted because we would be leaving in the next few hours. I then went to the guest room and filled my mom in on the situation. She stayed awake until we left.

We were about 30 minutes to the hospital without traffic. If we waited until the morning it would be 45-60 minutes. Max was not about to have that! So when my contractions were 2.5 minutes apart and lasting 55 seconds we left for the hospital. When I tell you that was the worst drive of my life….. IT WAS THE WORST DRIVE OF MY LIFE!

The contractions were absolutely unbearable if I was seated. So at the start of each contraction, I would hold myself up with my hands and hover above the chair. My body itched to stand and walk.

At 3am, when the induction was originally scheduled, we were admitted to the labor and delivery ward. I was measuring at 5 cms and fully effaced. The rest of the night went as follows. Me pacing and pausing for contractions, Max sleeping, nurses monitoring. This continued for 4 more hours. I knew I wanted Max awake and alert for the delivery and initial newborn time, so I told him to sleep during the contractions… I got it!

At 6:50 I asked the nurse to start the bag of fluids required for epidural prep. I knew from this point forward, I would be confined to the bed. Not Ideal, but with a history of a 3rd degree tear, I didn’t want to deliver without one just in case I tore again. The epidural was placed at 8:00 and in all honesty…. I might skip it next time as it was pretty painful this time around. I also had residual side effects for 6 weeks too.

When the anesthesiologist was placing the epidrual I could feel it wasn’t centered. He asked if it felt right and I explained I felt it more on my right. He did some maneuvering and it felt more centered but not perfect. Within 15 minutes, my pelvic floor was numb. Thankfully, I had full motion of my legs. I couldn’t be weightbearing but I could turn myself if needed.

I labored 8:30-9:30 on my side and then decided to try and sleep as I had been up for over 24 hrs, except for the 2 hours at night. I woke from my nap at 10:00 when my nurse came in. She explained that we would be having baby soon and asked if I wanted my water broken as I was at a 7. I said, yes and then warned her that I went from a 7-10 in ten minutes with our first. She said not to worry, we have time, but that she would call my OB anyway and have him start heading over. I was skeptical. When she left, Max asked if I wanted to place bets of us having a baby at 10:30. I told him that would be too soon.

Sure enough though, at 10:30, I was asking the nurse to come back and check because I was feeling the need to push. She said I was at a 9/10 and close but to wait as the doctor wasn’t there yet. My body started to shiver and I got very cold. I knew I was transitioning. I turned to the nurse and said “You can catch baby if need be, right!?” Stupid question…. I could have caught baby if need be! But she replied with, “Yes, but it would be more paperwork.” I held back from pushing.

After an eternity of waiting, My OB came in and asked if I was ready to meet baby. YES! The baby nurse came in and started to prep the exam station. Someone, trying to distract me from the onset contractions, asked “How long did you push with your first?”

I quickly answered, “15 minutes.”

It seemed everyone stopped moving… “How big was he again?!”

“Just an ounce under ten pounds”

“WOW…. you are a unicorn!”

I mean what can I say… I do rock labor and delivery!

I reminded my nurse that I planned to push on my side. My OB glanced my way and said… “We will see what works best.” I knew I would deliver on my back based on his response. After one push, sure enough, I was told to move to my back, bring my feet up and knees wide. With the perfect view of crowning baby, my doctor said the dreaded words of "Let’s talk episiotomy.” Without giving anyone and time to do anything I said “No. We will not be doing that unless baby is in destress and I cannot get her out in time.”

My Doctor looked at me like I was a loon! Another contraction was coming I needed to push. “You tore with your last delivery, this will prevent you from tearing as badly.” 100% false for those that are wondering.

“No, I tore with my last. I know how to heal from a natural tear and my body knows what to do. I need to push now!” With that I started to push and heard him say he would apply a warm cloth to help prevent tearing. Thankful he didn’t reach for his scissors I continued to push. Baby’s head was out! Two more pushes baby girl was in my arms and we were relishing in our golden hour. Gianna Nicole Slade was born June 13, 2023 at 10:50am weighing 9 lbs, 7oz after 8 minutes of pushing.

“I guess the episiotomy wasn’t needed, you only have a 1… maybe 2nd degree tear.” Was all my OB had to say after she was born. Trust your gut… I knew I would be fine! It wasn’t until after we were in recovery that Max asked if I heard my OB say, “Some people do their own internet research and think they know more than those who went to school for this.” I had already known I would not be returning to that practice… but that solidified it!

No woman should ever feel the need to justify her actions and argue with her OB while pushing, especially over a practice that is not evidence backed anymore for a normal delivery. And NO ONE should be subjected to snide remarks ever by a doctor especially when they are in such a vulnerable situation.

With all that said, Gianna’s delivery was more straightforward than Jaxon’s and had no lingering complications. We were transferred to recovery by 1pm June 13th and discharged at 2pm June 14th.

I learned a lot during Gianna’s delivery. The biggest being that mother’s know their bodies and should trust them. The second, if you feel the need to switch your doctor during your pregnancy…. do it.